How to be successful in the world of fear and doubt?
In psychology, there is an everlasting debate on what determines us more, nature or nurture. On the one hand, people believe that each one us is born with a set of genes that determines the way we look, act and feel towards the surrounding world. But on the other hand, there are a lot of reasons to think that the way we are brought up by our parents and the way we interact with the world, have a stronger impact on our identity and who we become.
A famous case in psychology
As a matter of fact, there was a very famous case of an attempt to put this debate to an end. In 1965, a boy named David Reimer was born. At the age of 7 months, he underwent a surgery to get a circumcision. During this surgery, an unconventional method to operate was used, called cauterization, which is basically the process of burning off a part of the body. The operation, however, went horribly wrong and the boy’s penis was burned off. After this incident, David’s parents had no other choice than to seek for help from someone that could create the best possible future for David.
John Money, the psychologist treating David, strongly believed that gender identity is something that is greatly determined by the society that we live, and not only the physiology. Long story short, Money thought that if he would tell David that he is a girl and help him act like one, David would ultimately see himself as a girl as well. Unfortunately, even though it seemed for a while that Money’s hypothesis was correct, in the end, it failed.
At an older, more conscious age, David realized that he does not feel like a female, and therefore returned back to being a male. The story is actually very sad. But if you are interested, you can watch the documentary about this below. I must warn you though, the documentary does not end on a good note.
Where’s the connection to success?
So where exactly am I going with this? Why did I bring us this whole topic of psychology and David’s story? What does it have to do with success?
In the case that I mentioned above, a psychologist tried to prove that one side of the coin can overpower the other, but was horribly wrong in his assumptions. As it turns out to be, there is one coin that has two equally strong sides affecting who we are, how we feel about ourselves and the world.
For the past couple of years, talking to close friends and people in general, I realized that one reason why people fail to be successful is not because they try something and then fail, but because they never even make an attempt. They are confident that the reason why they cannot become someone or achieve something, is because they were not born with what it takes. It becomes their excuse to stay stuck forever in the place they are at and to never go beyond. In other words, they think it’s all about “nature”.
I can’t become spiritual because I am not from a certain country. I can’t enjoy this new hobby because I am too old. I can’t get rich because I had to be born rich. I can’t learn a new language or programming because I’ve never had the brain for it. All of these things are something I have heard from others hundreds of times throughout my life. All of these people want to know how to be successful in some field, and these same people have limiting beliefs that prevent them from having the success they are after.
It is extremely important to understand that since birth we are told how to be successful based on the way in which our parents and the people around as saw success. As a result, we optimistically talk about something being really easy, and about another thing as impossible. But the truth here is that your beliefs are not set in stone. They are beliefs that are limiting your own success. They create fear and the needless doubt towards things that don’t deserve it.
Again, talking to people, I understood how deeply sit limiting beliefs in our minds. Some are convinced that a certain lifestyle or success in their life depends solely on where they were born and to whom. But that cannot be further from the truth.
I am sure that the majority of people that are going to read this, live in a world where they can afford to eat and drink every day, have a roof over their head and even have internet connected to their computer and/or mobile. Almost anyone can afford this. Yet so many people are convinced that these basics are all that they deserve. There is a strong fear to fight for more.
“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. The most important thing is to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it. Embrace it, change it and improve it.” – Steve Jobs
So how to think then, how to be successful?
Nature can be pretty strong when it comes to our physiology, but even then people have managed to overcome it and to become successful. Just think about Hellen Keller. She was almost her whole life blind and deaf, but that never stopped her from becoming successful.
We, on the other hand, have an abundant life full of opportunities, yet we fear to move beyond our comfort zone to reach for our dreams. We have so many possibilities to change our life and to strive for things that we love, yet we question how to be successful.
I don’t think that you necessarily need to be a millionaire or a professional in something to be successful. I think that as soon as you get rid of your limiting beliefs, grow a positive mindset towards life, understand that your possibilities are endless and begin taking action, that is when success really becomes attracted to your life. If you learn to enjoy the process and to see opportunities in those things that you previously couldn’t, that is when you are on the right path.
A book I recently read is called “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield. I highly recommend it for those looking for more motivation in life.
In conclusion to this short post, I would like to add that the inability to see your life’s opportunities is not only your problem. It is something we all have to deal with. Different people are born in different families and were raised in different ways. But just because one person was raised to believe that they can change the world, it doesn’t mean the other can’t. The first step is to become aware of these thoughts and to let them go.
Realize that you create your own life and you have the freedom go a lot further than what you were told. Don’t settle for what you have, especially if you don’t enjoy what you have. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you how to be successful. Go out there and start changing your life. Remember, you can take one small step at a time, but as soon as that first step is made, you will realize that the rest can be made as well.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments below. And don’t forget to sign up for Growth Evolution Development blog news. It’s easy, and you get a free gift with it. 🙂
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