Fear is something that is deeply integrated into us and something that we need in order to stay alive. Fear is what kept our ancestors from dying out by not allowing them to play around with lions or jumping off a cliff. However, because fear is not a choice, it often works against us, especially in the world we live in today.
Please read on to better understand how to overcome the fear of failure in everyday life.
Why are we afraid?
The reason why we are afraid of failure is at the same time simple and complex.
In a way, the only reason why we are afraid of failure is because we believe that if we do fail, we will fall into a position much worse than we are in at the moment. Maybe we will lose our job, our house, go bankrupt, destroy our marriage, etc.
In our mind, we instantly think of the worst case scenario, which can get so frightening at times that we prefer to not even think about it. As a result, we stay in the place in which we currently are at – our comfort zone.
On the other hand, fear of failure has many different aspects to it.
First of all, most of us have a strong belief that if we do fail, it will either be permanent or something that will haunt us for a very long time. It’s an easy way to justify our inability to take risks. But remember, our mind is great at playing games with us. This belief is only an opinion, and opinions are not the truth.
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Secondly, we don’t only fear failure itself, but also change. We fear bad and good change.
Bad change includes getting used to things that we don’t feel comfortable with, such as spending less money because we got into debts or moving into a smaller house because of our poorly constructed business.
Good change can mean letting go of people that are holding us back. We understand that these people are actually toxic, yet we don’t want to stop our relationship with them because we have gotten so used to them. It’s a good change, but we also feel uncomfortable with it.
Finally, we fear failure because we fear being criticized.
For example, you decided to start a new business. You have high hopes and belief in better future, but your friends don’t think that you can make it. So if you fail, they will point their fingers at you, tell you that they knew you wouldn’t make it and that they were right all along. It is as if we feel guilty for trying to make our own life better.
As you can see, fear of failure has many sides to it, but it also has a certain pattern. As a result, the very first thing you must do if you want to learn how to overcome the fear of failure is to understand this pattern, and then take steps to take it under control.
How to overcome the fear of failure
1. No one is not afraid
If you want to learn how to overcome the fear of failure, you must understand that absolutely everyone holds this fear. There isn’t a single person out there that is not afraid of doing something major, putting their time, money and energy into it, and then failing. The only way to permanently get rid of fear is to remove the associated part of the brain, but that is not something I would recommend. It can get quite messy.
That being said, experiencing fear should not hold you back from living the life of your dreams. In fact, that is what separates successful people from all the rest. Succesful people experience fear, but they do not allow it to dictate their lives. They overcome it no matter what.
Moreover, they don’t even allow failure itself to stop them. If something doesn’t work out, they just try again until it does. A new attempt for them is always a better attempt, a more intelligent attempt with knowledge from past experiences.
Therefore, please force yourself to understand that you, Joe, Jane and every other person on this planet is afraid, including Bill Gates and Elon Musk, have been afraid, are afraid and will be afraid. The only difference is how you approach your fear.
2. Use fear to propel yourself forward
You will feel fear either way, so get used to it. On the other hand, if you can’t avoid it, learn to use it for your benefit.
In one of my previous posts, I talked about the power of negative motivation. I recommend that you go and read that post as soon as you are done with this one. But in a nutshell, negative motivation is when your motivation is to run away from something bad in life, rather than be attracted to something good. In most cases, negative motivation is much more powerful than positive motivation.
For example, you are so tired of being poor all the time that you are willing to do anything it takes to become rich. The fear and unwillingness to stay poor forever becomes unbearable, and you have no choice other than to take action. The same example can be applied to someone being in fear of staying fat for the rest of their life.
Don’t be afraid of failure and losers judging you. Be afraid of not changing and not living the life of your dreams.
3. Be objective about your fears
If you really want to learn how to overcome the fear of failure, learn to be objective.
In the beginning, I gave a few different examples of the common fears we have regarding failure, such as losing your house and going bankrupt. I also mentioned how we fear being judged. Well, from now on, I want you to be as objective as possible with your fears. Don’t assume anything.
First of all, it’s not that easy to fail to the point of bankruptcy if you take it slowly. Nobody is forcing you to change your whole life around over night. Approach your new business idea, or whatever else it may be, gradually.
Don’t quit your day job immediately to pursue your dreams. Don’t let go of friends and relatives. Don’t invest all of your money at once. Don’t burn the bridges. Use common sense.
Most failures are small and can easily be dealt with. Don’t blow everything out of proportion in your mind. Instead, sit down calmly with a pen and a piece of paper, and write down all of the possible risks and things that can go wrong. This will give you a realistic picture of what to really watch out for.
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4. Life is just a game
I always say that life is an illusion. But if you don’t like me going all metaphysical on you, then consider life as a game, if that is easier for you.
What I am trying to say is that 99,99% of what we normally fear in life is actually not that scary. We tend to exaggerate things and create very scary stories about what may happen to us if we fail. In reality, we are using these stories to justify our inability to make ourselves happy and fulfilled.
If you look at it philosophically, then what’s the point of just living a boring life? So many things had to “coincidentally” occur for us to be born, including the Big Bang and the stork that flew us here… We were given this incredible opportunity to exist, yet we are afraid to take a step forward because we don’t like being uncomfortable. Isn’t that just sad?
In any case, learning how to overcome the fear of failure doesn’t come overnight, but by constantly practicing it, you will become more confident and eventually you will take the needed steps to achieve great success in life. I believe in you. Just give it a try.
Don’t fear failure, fear being still.
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June 10, 2018 at 14:51
I always feel anxious whenever I have to try new things then the fear of committing a failure sinks in. And I also know that I have to do something. These are very helpful tips, thanks!
June 10, 2018 at 17:04
Thanks, Erika!
June 10, 2018 at 16:39
I loved to read this post ! I love the positivity and the good energy ! Keep writting and sharing ! Thank you !
June 10, 2018 at 17:04
Thank you so much, OnlyBrightNess!
June 10, 2018 at 17:52
thank you for sharing your wonderful and positive words 🙂 these are some great tips and advice
June 10, 2018 at 18:07
Thanks a lot, Nina, I appreciate it!
June 10, 2018 at 18:54
I think this is great advice. Although, I also think a fear of failure can be differently rooted for different people.
June 11, 2018 at 05:55
To an extent, yes.
June 10, 2018 at 20:10
Loved this read. You can never go wrong with positivity!
June 11, 2018 at 05:55
🙂 Thanks!
June 10, 2018 at 20:47
Fear is a good thing. It keeps people fighting and keep people accepting change. Fear makes me fight back. My fear of having not enough money encourage me to take action each and every day.
June 11, 2018 at 05:55
Like I mentioned in the post, using negative motivation is a very strong approach. Great to hear!
June 10, 2018 at 21:44
As I have gotten older, my fear of failure has gotten less and less. You have to put positive energy into whatever you want to do and you can be successful.
June 11, 2018 at 05:53
Great to hear that your fear of failure has weakened, Kim!
June 11, 2018 at 02:53
I have overcome some fears over the past few years but heights…don’t think that is going to be one of them! lol! Thanks for tips, I’ll certainly try to overcome more fears.
June 11, 2018 at 05:52
Thanks!
June 11, 2018 at 06:40
What an inspiring article. This is going to help me a lot as this is something I struggle with. I need to get in the habit of using my fears to propel me forward in life.
June 11, 2018 at 07:34
Thanks, Sondra!
June 11, 2018 at 06:45
weirdly fear of failure was not high on my list, for me it’s fear of success. Maybe you could address that in another post?
June 11, 2018 at 07:34
I know that although more rare, people also do experience this.. Di Hickman, thanks for the tip!
June 11, 2018 at 07:35
Thanks, April!
June 11, 2018 at 08:15
I love your message. The worst thing we can do is be afraid and not even try at all. Thanks for sharing.
June 11, 2018 at 10:00
Thank you, Ophelia!
June 11, 2018 at 17:17
What a great article. This would make a great inspiration and reminder for many. I love the last quote : “Don’t fear failure, fear being still.” So true!
June 11, 2018 at 17:29
Thank you, Anastasia!
June 11, 2018 at 18:06
This is so inspirational and motivational. I’m a big believer in the saying that any action is better than inaction. These are very helpful tips and I believe if you follow through you will definitely get over that irrational fear of failure. Thanks for this great post!
June 11, 2018 at 18:13
Kamapala Chukwuka, thank you for your feedback and the motivational words, too! 🙂
June 11, 2018 at 21:09
Many more need to hear this because it is so true and motivational. Many can be helped by this. Fearing being still is a great reason to fear. Try (move).
June 12, 2018 at 07:39
Thanks, Serena!
June 12, 2018 at 01:44
The fear of failure for me is just as connected to how others view me as much as it is how I feel about myself. I am overly self-critical and this impact me…often. Everything you wrote makes 100% sense. Now if I could just get out of my own way… 🙂
June 12, 2018 at 07:39
Hah, true, it’s hard when all of this concerns ourselves. 🙂 Thanks for the feedback!
June 12, 2018 at 03:21
I think this is something that effects everyone at least once in their life. Thank you for sharing such an important and relatable topic!
June 12, 2018 at 07:38
Thanks, Heather!
June 12, 2018 at 05:17
This is a motivational post. Great advice for many of us to overcome the fear work towards your goal.
June 12, 2018 at 07:38
Thanks!
June 12, 2018 at 06:56
I think fear to fail at something is the biggest hindrance to success. This is one of the things I want my children to understand.
June 12, 2018 at 07:38
That’s very admirable that you think of your children in this context.
June 12, 2018 at 21:40
This is such a great post. The perfect advice for any and everyone of else because we have all had this feeling before.
June 13, 2018 at 06:27
Thank you!
June 13, 2018 at 08:07
I think I understand myself better after reading this article. I do have a fear of failure and I usually let that fear stop me from even trying. This is a great, inspirational article.
June 17, 2018 at 09:55
Thank you, Cristina!