Regardless of our optimism, we all from time to time fall into negative thought loops. It may be caused by an ending relationship, the loss of a job, death of a loved one, or any other. It may feel dark, discouraging, and as if there is nothing good ahead of us. And although these thought patterns are not rare, and can even be considered to an extent as normal, we should nevertheless get rid of them as soon as possible. If this kind of emotional stress is not taken care of in a timely manner, it will make us sick and depressed. Simply put, we must learn to let go of the past and to keep moving forward.
It’s clear that constantly being in a negative state of mind is bad for us, but there is more to it than just that. When we become attached to some event, some thing or someone, we begin to see it as the only option. And when that happens, we automatically close ourselves off from new opportunities.
For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend left you, and now you are beating yourself up for it. You think you could have been much better to that person, that it is all your fault, and that there is no one better on this planet for you than that person. I get it though, I’ve been there myself and I’ve felt the exact same way. But you know what? There are about 7.5 billion people out there. I am sure there will be at least one more person for you. The trick is to allow that person to find you. When you let go of the past and become open to new people and new relationships, you will be surprised how fast you will attract that new person into your life.
The same can be applied to your lost job or a failed business. As soon as you allow yourself to let go of the past, learn from mistakes, and make new, better attempts, you will see just how much more you are capable of. Again, you must not be attached to the past. As the saying goes “life is tough, shit happens”. I totally agree, life is tough, and shit does happen. The only question is then, how will you be able to handle it?
The past does not equal future
One very important thing so many people can’t seem to grasp, even the very intelligent people, is that past does not equal future. Many people live with the idea that just because they have had a negative experience in the past, they ought to have the same negative experience again in the present and the future. Well, I guess if you choose not to learn anything from those experiences and do the exact same things as you did then, maybe then you will face the same problems. But that’s not your case!
You have learned a lot, you have become wiser, and now you are doing things differently. So why would you let your past affect your present in such a negative way? In order to be able to have the motivation, to do what it takes and to succeed, you must let go of the past. You must be open to having new experiences in life, open to new people and you must be able to accept them.
I always recommend the movie called “Yes Man”. In that movie, Jim Carrey’s character has a rather dull life. But after visiting a self-development/coaching class, he finds out about the power of saying “yes” to everything. By forcing himself to say that word, he becomes open to all new opportunities, and that completely changes his life.
Now, I do not advise to say “yes” to everything, as that may be dangerous at times, just like in the movie, but I do recommend having that open attitude. Because when you are open, you attract new experiences into life, new people, and you never stay still. Again, regardless of how bad or good your past was, the past stays in the past, and it does not equal the future. You have to let go of it to make space for the new stuff.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself
Tony Robbins, a very famous motivational speaker, has a really good way of looking at problems that we all can apply in life as well. He talks about the idea that our 2 million-year-old brain is programmed not to make us happy. Instead, it is there to help us survive. But because today there is no saber-toothed cat to worry about, instead, we worry about what other people are thinking of us, whether we have enough money, whether we can afford to go on for a vacation, etc. It’s simply the reality of our brain, and that is what we have to deal with. Tony then adds that in order to make sure he remains in a positive state of mind, he has created the 90-second rule. The 90-second rule implies that when something negative happens to you in life, you allow yourself to feel the pain and emotional distress for 90 seconds, but not any longer. When the 90 seconds are up, you let go of the past and keep moving forward.
I don’t know whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, but I suggest you look into it here. The idea behind it is that what you focus on, what you wish for and what you visualize, you will attract into your life. For example, if you wish to find a new job, just visualize yourself already working at your new job. If you want to earn more money, visualize yourself in a bigger house or in an expensive car. In your visualization, you must see that you have these things, and that you can easily afford to buy them.
The law of attraction is not a science and it cannot be measured. Nevertheless, very many successful people believe in it and apply it in all areas of life. And I’m not really saying that you have to believe in it. All I am trying to say is that the law of attraction is all about seeing a better future, being open to new opportunities and accepting them once they do come into your life. That is the attitude you should have.
The last thing worth mentioning is that often people feel sorry for themselves. They feel sorry for their unsuccessful relationships, failed business, expensive cars that they crashed, for their addictions, etc. The list can go on and on. Most of the time, though, we feel sorry for ourselves for things that only we are to blame for.
It’s hard to accept the truth sometimes, but we must. And the quicker you take full responsibility for your past, present and future actions, the faster you can change your entire life.
Everything is possible in life. Maybe it’s not possible today, but if you begin working hard towards making it your reality, it will be possible in your future. Just remember to let go of the past and to keep moving towards your dreams.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
― Napoleon Hill
Thank you for stopping by and good luck!