Today I want to talk to you about 3 things: positive motivation, negative motivation and the fact that you should never give up!
Every so often, every one of us feels sick and tired of the things we pursue. In fact, giving up is that final step you take before you find yourself at square one. Of course, there is always the experience of having tried something new, but not all of us know how to look beyond the grief of failure. Remember – there is no failure, only feedback. With this attitude, you will be able to go a lot further in life.
So what exactly is a negative motivation and how does it fit in here? Well, as you have probably figured out, negative motivation has something to do with being motivated but in an unusual way. Simply put, when your fear pushes you to do something in order to avoid that fear or pain, that can be considered as negative motivation. When your fear has become unbearable, it can push you to take massive action and to get out of your comfort zone. Negative motivation is the driving force that will push you to believe that you must never give up.
Let me illustrate this concept with a few examples from life. When I wanted to quit smoking, I made several attempts to do so with no success. Those of you that smoke or used to smoke know how painful it can be to quit smoking. You find a thousand reasons why you should do it tomorrow instead of today. And as a result, almost no one manages to quit from the first attempt. Actually, the American Cancer Society claims that in average a person will make 8 to 10 attempts before they finally drop the horrible addiction, which sounds quite true.
Now, where was I going with this? Well, when the idea of becoming smoke-free first crosses a smoker’s mind, the motivation is
quite low. But as they try quitting and fail, they become more stressed out about the fact that they may need to smoke for the rest of their life, eventually dying of lung cancer. The more attempts they make, the more frightened they get of not succeeding. When I was on about my sixth time of trying to quit, I was so afraid of beginning to smoke again, that I literally had nightmares about putting another cigarette in my mouth. I was so driven by the fear of failing to quit again, that it finally overpowered my desire to smoke. Negative motivation was what allowed me not to give up.
Another example is blogging. I have been for years thinking of changing something about my life, something that would allow my creative potential free, while simultaneously allowing me to help others and to immensely enjoy that process. However, I was constantly doubting every single step of the process. I was giving myself so many reasons why not do it, from having too little topics to write about, to the idea that I will have my face visible to the public and thus be judged. When I finally got tired enough of not doing what I am interested and passionate about, I finally made that step. The idea of spending the rest of my life just working 8 hours a day, waiting for the weekend to arrive, was driving me nuts! I so desperately couldn’t live with this idea that my negative motivation finally took over and I decided that I can change. Never give up…
Negative motivation is an extremely powerful tool that you can use for your benefit. You may hate your work, and you may take that as your only option, or you may not. You may wake up every morning feeling sad, depressed, and tired of what you do. As a result, it probably will lead you even deeper into depression. The trick is not to fall for this, to never give up. You must not use this against yourself, but for your benefit. Deep down you seek happiness, so use negative motivation to push you. Use the fear of having to live that lifestyle for the rest of your life as your driving force for self-development. Don’t procrastinate with making yourself happier. There is no time for it.
If you managed to take action and get out of your comfort zone for the sake of your happiness, then I want to congratulate you! The first step is always the hardest, so if you managed to take that step, the rest should be easier to accomplish.
Unfortunately, there is one problem. Once the fear is left somewhat behind, we don’t feel anymore as bad as we did in the beginning. As already mentioned, it was the negative motivation that drove us towards making changes. It was what told us to never give up. But when the feelings of fear subside, we don’t feel as motivated anymore. For example, you were completely broke, and you were willing to do whatever it takes to earn some cash. And now that you do earn that little extra, and you are no longer forced to worry about getting the resources for tomorrow, there is no more negative motivation at sight. Or in the case of a relationship, in which at first you were willing to become a whole new being just to attract another person into your life, but when the person finally becomes a part of it, you no longer feel the need to continue doing so. This is that moment that you should be especially aware of, and your negative motivation must turn into a positive motivation.
Positive motivation is that something that drives us not away from some feeling or thing, but rather towards something better. So instead of running away from poverty, you may be trying to become wealthy. Instead of running away from being single for the rest of your life, you may simply want to meet a new person to share life with. Some people cannot bear the fact that they are overweight, so they lose the weight very quickly. But once they are half way there, they no longer see it as unbearable, they forget about what it felt like being overweight, and they inevitably put that weight back on. In the context of positive motivation, they would need to concentrate on looking better every single day.
While positive motivation is usually not as strong of a driving force as negative motivation is, it can nevertheless stay with you even longer and can actually help you to never give up.
Whatever you do, if you are motivated by fear, you must understand that sooner or later it will fade away, and you will be left with the choice of either stopping or pushing through. You must create a positive motivation for yourself already in advance to guarantee success. You can wish to earn a lot of money, but when you will have it in abundance, what will you do then? On the other hand, if your mission is to help homeless people or animals, there will never be an end to how much you can donate and help. Money, in this case, is not the final destination, but rather the vehicle to get you there. When I became a vegetarian at first, I had one motivation, but after not having eaten meat for almost a year, I knew that my motivation was completely lost and abandoned. Luckily, I had created a new, positive motivation that brought purpose to my dietary choice and has remained with me ever since. Whenever I forget about why I am a vegetarian, I can easily remind myself of it. This way I always stay on track. You can read about my vegetarian experience here.
Never give up
Regardless of what you are trying to accomplish, you will either have positive or negative motivation pushing you through. If you began with perfecting what you already have (positive motivation) – great, keep it up and never give up. However, if you are using your struggles to motivate you to take action in life (negative motivation) – awesome, go for it. But don’t forget, it is only a matter of time before your motivation will fade away. And if you feel that you are scared that you will lose the motivation at some point, don’t worry, develop a new one. Create a new cause for yourself. It may be about improving your status, finances, mental or physical health, relationships or even your spiritual self. It may be whatever it is that really matters to you. If you set your goals and motivation right, you will be unstoppable. I will never give up – should be your mantra to repeat to yourself every single day when you wake up.
I hope you liked reading this post. Feel free to comment below and to reach out to us. We are more than happy to help you out and to hear about your experience. 🙂
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Once again, thank you and good luck!