Changing Your Life vs Trying Again – Difficult Decisions

Whether it is a difficult relationship, a business, a study place, a job, or anything else that it may be, from time to time, we find ourselves in a situation where we feel that something must be changed. Maybe we had never planned to be in this situation, or maybe we didn’t expect it to be this difficult. Regardless of the reasoning, the outcome is a burden. The question that inevitably then arises – should we change our life, or should we keep on trying?

Changing your life – the less attractive option

Changing your life is usually the more difficult option of the two. It is a lot easier to keep on trying, especially if what we are tired of is more convenient on some level. For example, if you are in a relationship, you may be sharing an apartment, costs, or
you may even have children together. Here there are all the reasons to keep on trying, but does it really make much sense if you no longer can stand each other?

If your children only suffer because of the two of you arguing all the time, wouldn’t it be better to go separate ways? I don’t have children myself, so I won’t philosophise too much on this. However, I have been in relationships that weren’t going as planned. And although we tried, I knew that taking a different road was the right thing to do. I had to let go of convenience and attachment, and in the end, it was for the best.

When it comes to education or work, pretty much the same rules can be applied. Sometimes it is the fear of being judged by others that keeps us in misery. Sometimes it is a good salary, or a prestigious future that tells us to keep on trying. But what good does all of that make for us if we aren’t happy?

We as humans hate making decisions that lead to major changes in life. Moreover, we often feel that trying again would be the correct thing to do. We know that if we stop now, we might be losing one of the most important battles of our life. I say it because I am myself like this – very competitive, stubborn, and always willing to try again. While these qualities can be very beneficial, they are also my problem. Often I find myself abusing this behaviour. I know that the ship has sailed away, but in an almost like mechanical manner, I keep repeating the process with the hope of a different outcome. And the funniest part is that somewhere deep down I know that doing this is wrong. Can you relate to this?

The illusion of losing the battle

It is important to understand that sometimes something that feels wrong, is actually right. Confusing? In one of my previous blog posts on anger, I write about what Buddhists call delusions. Delusions are basically inner enemies that prevent us from thinking clearly. We may have become so attached to something, that we can’t imagine our life without it. Think of relationships or a business, for example. These delusions are not in any way the reality of things. Obviously, if we break up, we won’t be single forever; there will always be someone else for us in this world. And obviously, we can create another business if this one fails. The possibilities are endless. It is all a matter of what we believe in.

Changing your life instead of trying again is the right thing to do when we feel that we have come to a dead end. Again, in the context of earning money, it may be something that is simply no longer profitable. Maybe it used to bring you a lot of money in the past, and that was the way things were done before. But today the world is changing faster than ever, and something that worked yesterday, today may not even exist! Here we may be attached to the results of the past. We keep on trying and trying to bring them back, but it only keeps getting worse. If we were to detach ourselves from the results of the past, from our delusions, we would be a lot more quick to make positive changes and get back on the right track. The longer we keep on trying, the worse things may get.

Watch out for emotions!

Sometimes when we get into something new in life, we are extremely excited. We enter the unknown, we have a lot to learn, and a lot to anticipate. But as time goes on, our feelings begin to fade, and emotions die off. Remember that first love of your life? At first we thought that these feelings would last forever. But as time went by, we realised that things don’t work that way. It isn’t as exciting as it was at first.

I personally don’t believe that there is any real formula to how we should be dealing with a particular situation in life. Because in fact, every case is different with hundreds of different factors in place. However, as long as we have emotions, we are capable of making it better. Even if we hate our loved one (I know, sounds wrong), by trying harder and being more determined, there is time to reverse. It means that we still care. On the contrary, it is the lack of anger and emotion that we should fear. When we see ourselves completely indifferent towards the other person, our job, that is when I believe that changing your life becomes the only right thing to do.

We shouldn’t allow ourselves to get to the point where we no longer care. We should be aware of what is happening to us each single day of our life. By having full awareness, we have full control. If we see that we are no longer enjoying life, we should be doing all that we can to make a change. We should be willing to take action in life, to look for new solutions. We shouldn’t be stuck on the idea of trying things that no longer work. Sometimes, changing your life is the optimal solution, even if it feels like going against your will, even if you know that it will be very difficult. Don’t always trust your gut, because sometimes, covered with delusions, it is extremely convincing.

Final words

In conclusion, there are moments when you shouldn’t, nor you are allowed to give up right away. Changing your life right at that point may not be an option. Maybe you are the only way for your family to survive, or maybe you have a very serious illness. Maybe it isn’t that you hate your work, but you are just under too much stress. Sometimes simply by taking a few deep breaths, you can find new strength and willpower to try harder and to keep on fighting.

Luckily, the internet is packed with different books and programs that can help you overcome your obstacles. For example, if you are struggling with your relations or marriage, there is the Save My Marriage Today program. If you are struggling with your job, emotions, and life in general, then I highly recommend checking out Tony Robbins and what he has to offer. He is one of the best motivational speakers out there, and he has helped thousands of people.

Don’t stop there, do your research, and you will find a thousand other ways to help yourself… if you feel that you can’t do it on your own any longer. Sometimes we really need a seconds opinion, a mentor to help us realise something about our life. They can point us in the right direction, and based on that we can make the decision, whether you should be changing your life, or trying harder to make things better!

I hope this was of help. Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. Good luck!

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