If you are in the fifth decade of your life and you can’t wrap your head around the sheer number of answerless questions –
If you have a feeling that you could have done a lot better with your spouse and your children (or, even worse, if you feel regrets over not having them) –
If you have a sudden urge to buy yourself a new car and an uncontrollable impulse to build yourself a smashing body (that’s not the gym, by the way) –
If you find yourself suddenly remorseful over your past life and much too aware of your own imminent mortality –
Well, we’re sorry to inform you, Mr. Lester Burnham, but you’re experiencing that very much dreaded (and very much dreadful) midlife crisis!
Fortunately, there are always some things you can do when you’re stuck in life!
And we have prepared for you 11 tips which can help you get through any type of midlife crisis – if not intact, at least unbroken!
1. Face the Crisis Head-On
First thing’s first: don’t run away from your feelings. That, however, doesn’t mean acting on them. It merely means thinking them through.
Keep yourself motivated by staying with both feet on the ground.
2. Rephrase the Questions That Bother You
During a midlife crisis, most of the people ask themselves questions humanity has been struggling to answer for quite a few millennia.
If Plato, Shakespeare, Kant, Betty Friedan and Stephen Hawking didn’t manage to give a definitive answer to the question “Is this all?” chances are, you won’t either.
So why don’t you start asking yourself “If this is all, what can I change to enjoy it more?”
Asking the right questions often leads to surprisingly innovative answers.
3. Think of Your Crisis as a Learning Experience
Midlife crisis is usually defined as a transition of identity.
So, it’s basically just another threshold to a different stage in your life. Just as your first girlfriend or boyfriend once was, just as your first grade had been before that.
Looking back, the haziness is now gone, but the lessons have remained with you.
In order to feel the same when you’re 64, doing the garden and digging the weeds (you get zero points for recognizing the reference), transform your midlife crisis into a great learning experience.
So, instead of moaning about it, be more attentive and analyze it.
4. Talk to Someone About It (It Doesn’t Have to Be a Therapist)
If you can’t get to the bottom of it on your own, then find someone you can talk to about it.
A therapist would be the obvious choice, but there may be a better solution.
Your parents!
If they are still alive, start discussing your problems with them – at least one of them has probably gone through a midlife crisis as well, so he/she will certainly know a thing or two.
But, then again, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t discuss it with your spouse, your sibling, or even your children (if old enough)!
After all, the beauty of having a conversation with someone is the synergy of it: through it, one can often discover something that neither of the discussants knows before it.
5. Stop Going to Your GP
We don’t care what all those online symptom checkers say: if your GP says you’re OK, you’re not dying!
So, don’t waste your GP’s, or, for that matter, your own time for nothing.
Worst-case scenario, it’s just a flesh wound.
6. Start Appreciating What You Already Have
We’ll just point to you the obvious!
You’re, say, 49 years old, and you’re still alive, reading this article on your mobile phone.
Believe it or not, that already makes you more fortunate than at about 60% of the people on this planet, because, to start with, every second of its 7.5 billion inhabitants doesn’t have access to the Internet.
Recommended: 10 Ways to Develop an Attitude of Gratitude and to Be Happier
And you’ve already had the privilege of celebrating a birthday which more than a quarter of the world population will never do!
Finally, how many people do you think earn enough money to be able to buy themselves a smartphone?
On second thought, the question sounds even more sobering if left unanswered.
7. Don’t Make Big Decisions on Your Own
Making informed choices is one of the best skills you can master throughout life.
The problem is, at the moment, you’re not exactly in the right state of mind to make informed choices on your own.
“My daughter’s 20-year-old boyfriend drives the same car, so it must be cool” is not a good argument for spending your inheritance on a Ferrari.
So, whenever you feel like you should make a big decision, discuss it through with someone.
And that excludes the guy in the mirror!
8. Don’t Start an Affair
Speaking of big decisions, affairs are always a big “no-no”!
Many people may end up badly hurt in the end – including yourself.
So, even in the worst-case scenario (i.e., your marriage actually doesn’t work), there are things you are obligated to do (ways to mend it or end it amicably) before you embark on a love adventure.
9. Start a New Hobby Instead
You know what Socrates did on the very last day of his life, while his executioners were preparing his poison?
He was learning how to play a new tune on his flute!
“Why?” – they asked him.
“Because I want to learn this tune too before dying” – he answered.
There are many things you can do in life, and if it suddenly seems much too dull, then it’s just the right time to start a new hobby and get engaged once again.
Recommended: What to Do When You Are Feeling Lonely and Sad: 7 Things to Do
10. Stop Reading These Articles: Go Out!
The point of these articles is not to read them, but to apply them.
So, at least once a week, turn off your mobile phone and your computer and try to have a nice and quiet evening out with your spouse or your friends.
11. “It Will Get Better” Should Be Your New Mantra
No matter how pointless you feel during the day, and no matter how bad you want to change your identity and move to a different country before falling asleep, don’t ever forget: it’s merely a phase.
One not so very distant day, your midlife crisis will undoubtedly pass.
So, tell yourself that it will get better, at least from time to time.
Because, you know what: it will.
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