I think every single person on this planet has experienced low self-esteem at least once in their lifetime. Usually, it is not dangerous and is easily overcome. However, those of us that are a little less fortunate, need to deal with low self-esteem on daily basis, which inevitably becomes a heavy burden leading to problems in all areas of life.
If you see that low self-esteem has become a serious issue for you, it’s time to change. Below, you will find the five things you can do in order to raise self-esteem and to improve the overall quality of life.
1. Be aware
The very first step towards understanding how to raise self-esteem concerns your awareness.
Believe it or not, but having low self-esteem has a lot to do with how you judge yourself in comparison to others. There may be many different reasons why we act this way, but the general idea is that we see other people as better or above ourselves, which naturally makes us feel even worse than we already may feel.
Unfortunately, many people fail to understand that an opinion is just an opinion, not the truth. Just because you think that someone is better than you, doesn’t mean that it’s true. Sure, maybe they are a better singer than you are, but that does not mean that they are better in everything else. As a result, to counteract this negative thinking pattern, you must learn to be more critical of your opinions and more aware.
Awareness is probably one of the most effective medicines that there are in existence, which has the potential to solve problems of personal and global scale. I always say that if everyone in the world could be just a bit more aware, wars would not exist.
By being aware of your thoughts and opinions, you become more objective about yourself. You begin to wonder, whether the things that you think about yourself are true, whether they are doing you any good, and whether you should continue thinking them. In other words, if you are aware, it becomes much harder to lie to yourself. You begin to see things for what they really are.
Continuous analysis
There are many ways how you can practice awareness. The most simple approach is to just begin to analyze yourself. Whenever you feel that self-esteem is low, ask yourself “why” is it low. Is there a particular reason for it? Can you do something about it? Or are you just negatively comparing yourself to others again?
Journalling
One other very effective way to raise awareness is through journaling. Get a journal and begin to write your thoughts down. Whenever you feel like you didn’t handle your self-esteem problem well, write down what you felt, when you felt it and how you felt it. Do the same for the times when you did handle it well.
As you continue using your journal, you will become more experienced in identifying negative thoughts before they affect you.
Meditation
Finally, you can always give meditation a try. There are various techniques that significantly help one to become more aware. Just look it up on the internet.
2. Eliminate self-criticism
The second step towards understanding how to raise self-esteem lies in eliminating self-criticism.
If you have low self-esteem, chances are that you are being too harsh on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, being self-critical from time to time is ok and even beneficial, but doing it on a regular basis hurts us. This is called destructive criticism.
There is a big difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Constructive criticism is aimed at helping us. We see what we did wrong, we analyze the experience, learn from mistakes and improve ourselves. This is what helps us grow.
Destructive criticism has no benefit to us whatsoever. In this case, we see only the negatives, we judge ourselves, and we don’t think of ways in which we can improve. It’s criticism for the sake of criticizing; pointless and harmful.
Awareness will help you to differentiate between the good and the bad criticism. Next time when you see it happening, ask yourself whether it is justified. Does it make sense, can you learn from it and use it to become better? If not, forget about it. You are just being negative towards yourself and hurting your self-esteem.
3. Focus on the positives
The third step towards understanding how to raise self-esteem concerns emphasizing your positive sides.
As already mentioned, a lot of low self-esteem comes from incorrect judgment towards ourselves. We tend to focus on the things we do poorly or wrong, rather than the things we do well and right.
First of all, don’t compare yourself to others. You are a unique human being, and you will never be exactly like the other person. This needs to be very clear to you.
Secondly, regardless of what anyone does, they were once a beginner at it. Just because you didn’t do so good at something, doesn’t mean you can’t learn and improve. Nobody was born with perfect skills.
In everything you do, try to see the positive sides of it. Look at the things that do work out, instead of the things that don’t. Look at how you are better at something today than you were yesterday. Be patient and be grateful for the fact that every day you are able to grow just a bit and to take a new step forward.
Seeing the good in everything is a skill that needs to be practiced. It’s easy to focus only on the bad and to see only the bad. The majority of people are this way. Some people focus on the negative and complain about everything, while others lock up and have poor self-esteem. Both options are detrimental.
Moreover, make sure you leave toxic people out of your life. They are going to pull you down. Instead, you need to be around people that motivate you and help you become better. As they say, you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. Make sure those people see the positives in you, not the negatives.
4. Take care of yourself
This point on how to raise self-esteem may seem less important to some, but it actually is very important. There are certain things you can physically do to make your self-esteem grow.
Take care of yourself, get a haircut, wear clean clothes, at home and outside. Make sure you smell good and feel fresh. This is the bare minimum that you should be doing in order to feel better about yourself.
When you look good and tidy, not only you will have a better feeling towards yourself, but other people will also notice this and react to you in a different way. I understand that being judged by the looks seems like something very shallow, but that’s just the reality of the humankind. The majority of people are naturally more attracted to those that keep themselves tidy. There is nothing wrong with this. It’s a just part of who we are.
If you want to take it a step further, then I encourage you to exercise, at least three times a week. Personally, I can’t imagine a happy healthy person that does not exercise.
Not only does physical exercise get us into a better shape, thus raising our self-esteem, but it also helps to get rid of toxins and alleviates stress. Being stressful seriously affects the way in which we judge ourselves. For this reason, it is important that we remain as relaxed as possible. Things like eating healthy, getting enough sleep and doing sports – all improve our health and therefore raise self-esteem.
5. Begin to challenge yourself
Finally, the last step towards understanding how to raise self-esteem concerns how you challenge yourself.
Once you have the basics in place and you feel that you are doing a bit better, it is time to take on new challenges that will help you to grow further.
There is a saying that everything that doesn’t grow, dies, and I completely agree with this statement. You cannot stay in the comfort zone and feel good forever. No, you will eventually begin to fall back. Therefore, it is important to constantly move forward and to try new things.
By challenging yourself, you expand your knowledge and skills. When this happens, you will naturally feel better about yourself, once again raising your self-esteem. When you set meaningful goals and accomplish them, you will experience fulfillment, the biggest self-esteem increaser that there is.
How you keep yourself busy and growing is really up to you. You can do whatever you want, just as long as you love what you are doing and you do not stand still.
Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of how to raise self-esteem. However, if you feel like you need more help, there are plenty of books written on the subject of how to raise self-esteem. You can check them out here.
Thank you for stopping by and good luck!
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