We all have things we want to accomplish in life. We create goals, and then we work hard to make them happen. At first, full of enthusiasm, it seems as if nothing can stop us. But as time passes, we begin to face difficulties, we make mistakes, become exhausted and eventually give up. Something is wrong, something is missing. What is it?
Being motivated and setting goals are both necessary ingredients for success, but I have come to the realization that those don’t lie at the core of self-actualization. Instead, it is the attitude from which all must begin. Attitude is everything.
Without the right attitude set in place, everything else is easily shattered. It is like having a house built with no foundation. As soon as the rain starts pouring, the house falls apart. As soon as the first problems come around, we get discouraged and quit.
The reason why I say that attitude is everything is because I have witnessed many times how people gave up on their dreams, despite having such a great start. After carefully analyzing their actions and getting to the root cause of things, it is almost always the attitude that is weak. I see this in others, but I have also been there myself.
At the early stages of making the decision to change my life for the better, I would do everything as they teach in the self-help books. I was excited, and the change that I was so eager to experience, was quick to come.
However, at a certain moment, things began to slow down and I experienced a plateau. Not only I wasn’t feeling that fire in me anymore, but I also questioned whether the goals that I was after, can be achieved at all. I had to change my approach.
Pessimism vs optimism
Most of us are either pessimists or optimists.
Right off the bat, I can tell you that if you are a pessimist, you will have a hard time cultivating the right attitude for continuous growth. I am not saying that you cannot grow and become successful as a pessimist, but what I am saying is that if your problem is low self-esteem and a poor attitude towards life, then you must first learn to control your emotions and to see the world differently.
To control your emotions means to become aware of them. Ask yourself as often as possible:
- What am I thinking?
- Why am I thinking this?
- Is the thought beneficial, or will it have a negative impact on me?
If you realize that your thoughts are self-criticizing, negative and/or have no value, let them go. You can either turn them around, so that they become positive and uplifting, or just try to forget about them altogether. The latter is much more difficult, though.
Remember, pessimism is just a way in which we view the world. You are just as right or wrong about things if you view them with an optimistic mind.
Although not perfect, being an optimist is a much better and a healthier approach to life. Not only optimists, according to many studies, live longer, but they also live a better quality of life.
In the context of understanding that attitude is everything, you must also understand that attitude comes first and foremost through the positive intention that everything is achievable in life. It may be not achievable right at this moment, but if you work hard enough and long enough for it, your dreams can become a reality.
That being said, being overly optimistic also has its dangers. I remember being so caught up in the idea that I will soon have what I want simply because the first steps were so easy, that as soon as the difficulties came along, I immediately got discouraged. Had I built the right attitude from the start, I would have known that problems and mistakes are an inevitable piece of self-development
Nevertheless, there is no failure, only feedback.
Neuroplasticity
Some prefer to think that people never change. They say that once the brain and personality forms, there is nothing we can do about it. This is wrong.
Not only I know through experience that we have the capacity to change if we really want to (notice the “want”), there is a scientific explanation for it. It’s called “neuroplasticity”.
By repeating certain physical and mental behaviors, such as meditating, learning a new language or playing a new instrument, we are physically altering our brain. And the more we do this, the more our brain changes. As a result, newly acquired skills become second nature to us.
For this very reason, it is important to control your emotions and how you view the world. The sooner you start working on improving your attitude, the sooner you can change.
What you can do
Now that you know that your brain can physically change, you now understand just how important it is to cultivate the right attitude. Indeed, attitude is everything!
So, in practice, what can you do?
Choose your friends well
As they say, you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.
Make sure that you spend time around people that have the right attitude towards life, the attitude that you want to have. Don’t be around people that are bringing you down or are toxic.
Visualization
Build the attitude by visualizing your success and how you have already achieved what you are after. By doing this, you are increasing your motivation and therefore the willingness to work hard for your goals.
Get a whiteboard and a journal
Goal setting is something that helps to mature the attitude towards success. As a matter of fact, I don’t know anyone who has taken self-development seriously and does not make daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals.
Get a whiteboard and hang it on your wall. Write down your daily goals on it and cross them out once they are complete. Having them visible in front of you will push you to accomplish them.
If you want to take it one step further, you should get a journal. In your journal, you will write down more distant goals, keep track of your progress and be aware of what is going on in your life. A journal really is a must. Make sure to check out all the benefits of having one here.
Motivational books and videos
Last but not least, attitude is grown through continuous learning. One of the best ways to do this is through feeding your brain with new information that you can put into practice.
Books are your first source of wisdom. Be sure to check out this list of 50 best self-help books. But don’t be limited to books only. Use the power of the internet to your benefit. There is plenty of motivational content on YouTube as well.
Of course, there are many other ways to grow the right attitude towards life, but if you put into use the four points listed here, it will be more than enough for you to maximize your chances for success. The attitude is what will keep you going when the hard times come around. Remember, attitude is everything.
Thank you for stopping by and good luck!
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