I will be honest with you, being true to yourself is not always an easy task. As a matter of fact, I think that being true to yourself today is harder than it has ever been. And the reason for that is the internet.
The internet, like it or not, has made all of us public figures to a certain extent. We have social network profiles through which we receive likes, dislikes, positive and negative comments, constructive and not so constructive criticism. We are basically out there for the world to judge us.
And for some of us, constant judgment is not something we are able to handle so well. Even the toughest of us, from time to time, are negatively affected by what others think and say about us. As a result, we change from who we genuinely are into somebody whom we think others will like more.
But that’s not all, there are plenty of other situations in which we have to play a role and be someone who we are not. It may be at work in front of our bosses, friends, relatives, parents our wife or husband, etc.
All of these things can change and break us if we don’t learn how to stay true to ourselves. And the only way to do that is by knowing who we genuinely are deep down.
Symptoms of not being true to yourself
Before we go on thinking how to be true to yourself, we must first identify the moments when we are acting in a way that doesn’t align with who we really are. Here are some examples:
- We soften our position and opinions when someone disapproves of us
- We seek compliments from others and we feel upset when we don’t receive them
- We pay insincere compliments to gain approval
- We show that we agree when we don’t actually agree
- We choose not to complain when we know we should
- We ask for permission when it’s not necessary
- We feel worried or upset when someone disagrees with us
- We do something that we don’t necessarily want to do just because we are afraid of saying “no”
- We gossip and spread bad news around to get more attention
- We behave in a very strange way to gain approval or attention from others
- We often apologize for things we say and do even when there is no problem
- We pretend that we know more than we really do because we are too afraid to admit that we don’t know
So, do you feel that any of these can be applied to you? If so, don’t worry. It’s good that you can identify it and be honest with yourself. Because if anyone wants to change, the very first thing that we must all absolutely do is to become aware of what we are doing wrong.
To learn how to be true to yourself, you must first identify all of the situations in which you are not doing it. When that’s done, you should ask yourself, what is the reason for it. Why do I behave in such a way? What will happen if I do it differently? What will happen if I don’t do it differently? Just be honest with yourself.
Don’t be an actor – be yourself, the objective self
You might be asking yourself, why exactly do we even feel the need to act in such an unnatural way? Wouldn’t it be always just so much easier to be who we really are?
The answer is “yes”. However, because we are human, we tend to act in human ways, which often not only overcomplicates things, but can also be detrimental to us.
Are you an honest person? Are you a kind person? Are you a positive person? Do you like things done well? Are you hard working? Are you punctual? Do you love to go for long walks in the forest? Are you humble? Do you love spicy food? Do you care for animals?
You can agree with some of these things, but you also can sometimes find yourself in situations in which you have to pretend that they do not reflect who you are. And the reason for this is the setting you are in and the role you are playing at the moment.
You may be a daughter, a child, a father, a mother, a sibling, a friend, a man in the military, a businessman or businesswoman, an office worker talking to your boss, a taxi driver, a yoga teacher, musician, doctor, etc. All of these are different roles, and depending on who you are with at the moment, you may act very differently and therefore not be true to yourself.
For example, if you consider yourself a hardworking, successful business owner that must work 24/7, then you will obviously find it very difficult to be a good father or a mother due to the lack of free time. You may still want to be an amazing parent, but the role that you picked for yourself prevents you from doing it.
Recommended read: Want to Change the World? Change Yourself First – The Rest Will Follow
Please see the difference, in this example, it’s not about the fact that someone works too much that prevents them from being a good parent, but their BELIEF that they MUST work 24/7, regardless of whether there actually is that much work or not.
In any case, I am not going to tell you what is right or wrong. Everyone can decide for themselves what role they want in life, and whether they need one at all. But you must understand that to be true to yourself, you have to really dig deep down and understand who is it that you really are. And when you do understand that, then you can live in accordance with that.
If you come to the conclusion that you are or want to be an honest person, then you can live your life in an honest way, telling people what you really think. Maybe not everyone will like that about you, but hey, at least you are being true to yourself. And in the end, if being true to yourself is what you really wanted and that’s what makes you happy, then you are probably doing the right thing.
What’s on the other side?
For most of my life, I had a really fragile character. I was scared to say “no” to others, to make other people disappointed, angry, frustrated, etc. But because I was being used and controlled so much, eventually, my anger at myself pushed me to change and become more straight with people. It wasn’t an easy change to undergo, but it happened and it happened in the right direction nevertheless.
Don’t get me wrong, I struggle up to this day to always remain true to myself, but it’s nothing compared to what it used to be. I have made it more or less a habit, and it works well enough. You don’t need to be 100% perfect to enjoy success. This is a really important point to remember.
In conclusion, being true to yourself is actually a wonderful feeling, a feeling of freedom. At times, people won’t like you being true to yourself, and they will even try to break you in order to have control over you. But if you are able to withstand the pressure, there is nothing other than confidence, peace and fulfillment waiting for you on the other side.
Thank you for stopping by and good luck! Feel free to leave your comments and feedback below.
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March 3, 2018 at 21:11
so much truth to this article! Great suggestions and kudos to writing about this topic!
March 4, 2018 at 07:59
Thank you and thank you for stopping by!
March 3, 2018 at 22:56
This is so true. If more people would read things like this, maybe the world would be a better place.
March 4, 2018 at 07:58
I also say that if more people would simply be more aware and eager to learn, the world would be a better place indeed. 🙂
March 4, 2018 at 00:13
I simply love your post and your writing style! Amazing!
March 4, 2018 at 07:57
Thank you so much, that’s very nice to hear! 🙂
March 4, 2018 at 07:10
Some really wise advice here. We can all learn from this.
March 4, 2018 at 07:59
Thank you!
March 4, 2018 at 08:16
Love your honesty in your post (That’s because you are being true to yourself 🙂 ) It takes courage to stand up and be yourself and be heard by others. Courage that many people do not have, they fear the consequences as you explained. Great post that otheres should pay attention to.
March 4, 2018 at 08:35
Thank you for your thorough reply, I appreciate it. 🙂
March 4, 2018 at 12:32
This article is great so much truth to it and I agree we tend to put on a different face for each role we play. No matter what we all have those times when its difficult to say no, i still struggle with it but I’m getting so much better. You just can’t please everyone!
March 4, 2018 at 13:00
That’s so true, you can’t please everyone! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
March 4, 2018 at 14:55
Thank you!
March 4, 2018 at 16:35
I think I need to learn to say no and stick to it because it does get difficult at times.
March 4, 2018 at 16:36
Yes, it’s hard for me as well sometimes.
March 4, 2018 at 19:51
Well the good news is I did realize that I was messing up at certain pointers, the bad news is I still got to work on them. This was a great post.
March 4, 2018 at 19:55
I think we all have to work on these things, but not all of us are aware of it. So in a way, it’s good news. 🙂 Thank you for your comment!
March 4, 2018 at 22:10
I think I am being true to myself but I am indeed guilty of sometimes “Choosing not to complain when I know I should. However, sometimes we have to make compromises as we live in a world with others with whom we have to try to get along
March 5, 2018 at 07:15
I agree, we do sometimes have to make compromises.
March 4, 2018 at 23:52
i agree its hard sometimes. You can’t please everybody though you’re being so not true to yourself so why not just be you, right?!
March 5, 2018 at 07:16
Exactly! 🙂
March 5, 2018 at 17:15
Sadly, social media has a great influence on us today. I agree that it is hard sometimes but it is much better to be honest and be yourself.
March 5, 2018 at 17:22
Thank you for your comment!
March 5, 2018 at 17:52
I agree! Being true to our-self is big challenge that we all face in daily basis. From expressing our thoughts to conveying our opinion we hold our true self scaring we would be judged for what we are. The key point is we cannot satisfy everyone in our life so we need to move forward with being true to our self. In a worst day the feeling of being honest makes us feel satisfied atleast. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful topic.
March 5, 2018 at 18:04
“In a worst day the feeling of being honest makes us feel satisfied at least.” – This is the most important part. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
March 6, 2018 at 07:51
Being true to yourself is easier said than done.Following what you believe over what people pressure you to do to please others and forsaking self. We are so conditioned to seeking other people’s advice or opinions on things concerning ourselves. My blue chakra is open and I just do what want and don’t care what people think, it my live. Period
March 6, 2018 at 08:26
I wish I could always not care what others think of me, I have yet to master this.
March 6, 2018 at 11:16
🙂
March 6, 2018 at 11:16
Thank you!
March 7, 2018 at 01:41
I love this and I totally agree, being true to yourself is so important but still so hard at times!
March 7, 2018 at 08:19
Thank you!
March 7, 2018 at 06:48
This is so well written. I am finding more and more everyday this is easier said than done. Bookmarking for reference for later too!
March 7, 2018 at 08:19
Thank you! It’s true though, easier said than done, that’s why also have to work on it almost every day. 🙂
March 12, 2018 at 07:07
Moving to a new city has me feeling more vulnerable than ever. Your piece was something I needed to come across today. Thank you. I find it especially difficult to be true to oneself when one is still going through a process of self discovery, but you hit the nail on the head by suggesting one ask their self what matters most and holding that. Everyday you should aim to be unconditionally YOU.
https://www.learningfromstrangers.com
March 12, 2018 at 08:09
Thank you, I am glad I could help.