What to do when you are feeling lonely and sad? Ironically, even though the population of the world is growing, we have the internet and technology, so many people today feel extremely lonely. Why is this so? Shouldn’t it be easier to communicate with one another?
Loneliness isn’t the same as isolation, yet it can be just as bad if not taken care of in a timely manner. A person that is lonely and sad can become depressed, turn to alcohol and drugs, or even worse. For this very reason, it is important to not be in this state for long. Fortunately, all of this can be treated relatively easily.
What to do when you are feeling lonely and sad
1. Be aware
The best way to fight an illness is to prevent it.
In order to prevent the possible serious consequences of feeling constantly lonely and sad, you must first and foremost become aware of the problem. If you see that the feelings of loneliness, sadness and/or melancholy are becoming more common, then there might be a problem coming into existence.
Sure, each and every one of us feels lonely and sad from time to time, but it’s not normal to experience this frequently. Experiencing this on a regular basis means most-likely that there is a bigger cause for this, something that may even be hiding deep down, away from our conscious mind.
Nevertheless, the very first thing to do is to realize that you are feeling lonely and sad more than you would like to. The next thing to do is to ask yourself, “why am I feeling this way?” Maybe you just got out of a relationship, or maybe you are introverted and don’t have too many friends. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself.
As soon as you have understood what your problem is, take action.
2. Taking action
There may be many different reasons why you have come here to read about what to do when you are feeling lonely and sad. I realize that every single case is unique and requires attention. I feel your pain.
However, the good news is that regardless of what it is, the methods of dealing with loneliness are pretty much universal. On the most basic level, you are not allowed to stay still.
I realize that when the sadness kicks in, all we want to do is to sit at home and feel sorry for ourselves. Some watch out the window, some eat ice cream and some begin to drink alcohol. Try your best to not make this a habit, as some of it may lead to other problems, such as alcoholism or overeating. On the contrary, you have to force yourself to do something interesting. Be creative, be active.
In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living“, Dale Carnegie says that one of the best remedies against worry is to keep yourself busy. Keep yourself busy to avoid worry, but also keep yourself busy to avoid loneliness. When busy, you simply have no time to feel sad or lonely. I highly recommend the book.
3. Find a hobby
Starting a new hobby is one of the best ways to avoid loneliness and sadness. Hobbies help you overcome your problems in a number of ways:
1. You do something that you love
Starting a new hobby means doing something that you care about. I, for example, wanted to start kickboxing for a long time. I realized that there is no perfect timing for it, so I just went and signed up for it.
By starting kickboxing, I am now enjoying life more because this is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time. It’s not something that I have to do, but something that I want to do. Moreover, as I get better at it, I feel better about myself. It raises my self-esteem, and as a result, I feel less sad about life.
2. You meet new people
One other important aspect of starting a new hobby is relationships. Regardless of what you do, you will meet new people, and that means more communication and new adventures. Both of these are essential to a happier life.
3. You keep yourself busy
A lot of our loneliness and sadness boils down to us being bored with life. We simply aren’t bothered to do anything. But as already mentioned, you need to keep yourself busy and active to feel happier. Starting a new hobby is perfect for this.
Get over yourself, get up and sign up for something fun today!
4. Meetup.com
Meetup is similar to the previous point in the sense that it also helps you when you don’t know what to do when you are feeling lonely and sad. However, Meetup focuses a lot more on meeting new people and creating connections.
For example, if you are into coding, public speaking, design, fashion, art, music, politics, languages or any other, meetup.com could be the right place for you to find like-minded people.
Meetup is a website though witch people can schedule events with each other. These events can be about anything and are located all over the world.
I suggest you create an account, which is free, and find something to do in your local area. I joined a Toastmasters group through meetup, which is a group that helps to improve public speaking skills. I got to know a bunch of new people through it, and I feel now more confident on stage. I really can’t recommend enough these types of activities if you are having a hard time finding something to do.
5. Yes Man
Have you seen the 2008 movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey? If not, watch it now.
Although the movie is a bit extreme, it does a good job at getting across the idea that if you are open to what life has to offer, it’s gonna be a crazy ride!
If you are feeling lonely, sad and blue, and you get a phone call from your friends, in which they ask you out, don’t say no! No matter how much you want to sit inside alone, don’t turn down the opportunity. You never know to what good it may lead.
By saying yes to things, you are telling the universe that you are open to whatever it has to offer you, in the good sense of course. As soon as you allow new people into your life and allow things to happen to you, you’ll forget at once how sad and lonely you used to be. Trust me.
6. Get rid of social networks and/or games
Don’t get me wrong, games and social networks are not bad by themselves, but if your problem is continuous loneliness and sadness, then these two things are just going to make it worse, just like drugs and alcohol would.
By constantly playing games or sitting aimlessly in social networks, you are not dealing with loneliness the right way. On the contrary, you are wasting your time and making your situation worse. You are pushing yourself into loneliness even further.
Use social networks for your benefit. Find someone that you haven’t talked to in a long time, and ask them out for a coffee. Don’t be absorbed into just sitting and browsing other people’s profiles.
Don’t forget, it is the action and movement that helps us beat loneliness, not us sitting inside all day long in front of the computer. Now move!
7. Feed your brain with motivation
If you ask people what to do when you are feeling lonely and sad, you will hear them list many things. They will tell you to go on a vacation to an exotic place, eat out in a nice restaurant (even alone), go to the movies, ride around in a car or bus to an unknown location, jog, visit your parents, etc. All of these are nice things to do, I agree. However, there is still the one big problem – lack of motivation.
The reason why so many of us are lonely and sad in the first place is because we don’t have the motivation to do anything about it. Sure, we could do all of the mentioned above activities, but we don’t! It’s sad, it’s wrong, but it’s true. So how do we change this?
Well, I always say that everything begins with the attitude towards life. If your attitude is lacking, there isn’t much you can do. The only thing you can and should do, is to begin changing that attitude.
From experience, the number one way to change your attitude is to feed your brain with motivational content. If you can’t get off the couch, then use that time to read inspirational books and watch motivational videos on YouTube. If you need to, find a coach or mentor to help you, or even ask your most enthusiastic friend for guidance.
Once you have given enough motivation to your brain, you will be inclined to do something with your life. It suddenly won’t feel that hard to get off your butt anymore. This is exactly what happened to me, so I speak from experience here.
Remember, most of the time we don’t feel sad and lonely because there is no one to communicate with, but because we have chosen to be this way. Change what you do and how you do it, and you will see new colors in life. It’s just a matter of keeping yourself busy and being open to new opportunities.
Thank you for stopping by and good luck!
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August 4, 2018 at 11:29
Some very good yet simple and not overwhelming tips. These may seem like everyone should k ow then but I for one have said to misled “i Don’t know what to do” seeing it here is not only helpful but extremely reassuring!!! Thank you x
August 4, 2018 at 11:45
Thanks, Amanda!
August 4, 2018 at 16:48
This is amazing. So many people don’t know what to do and feel stuck! Great list. Thanks for the awareness
August 4, 2018 at 16:54
Welcome, Brittany! 🙂
August 5, 2018 at 07:30
Certainy the best thing to do first if one is feeling lonely is to recognize it and to know that it is normal and that you are not alone. Knowing these things would ease it up.
August 5, 2018 at 09:01
Thanks for the input, Mitchelle.
August 5, 2018 at 20:26
Your mission is absolutely Honorable Thank You !!!!
August 6, 2018 at 05:46
Thank you very much, Paula!
August 5, 2018 at 20:33
Definitely some good suggestions here. I think by far, the most important piece is simply recognizing the feeling for what it is. That’s tough sometimes.
August 6, 2018 at 05:46
Thanks, Noel!
August 5, 2018 at 20:39
I love all of these tips and I’m going to try some of them. I recently signed up for meetup.com but I haven’t gone on any meets yet. I wanted to wait until school started back which it did Friday.
August 6, 2018 at 05:45
You’ll like it. 🙂
August 5, 2018 at 20:52
Sadness is a big mental health problem, it can battle ones mind, it also hard to identify one person feeling’s when they are sad. I hope a lot of people can read your post and be aware.
August 6, 2018 at 05:45
Thank you, I appreciate it.
August 6, 2018 at 01:20
Excellent tips. It’s so hard to get moving and past sadness sometimes but incorporating some of these tips certainly helps to speed us past that sadness.
August 6, 2018 at 05:44
Thanks, Cris!
August 6, 2018 at 03:33
These are great tips. There are so many people who feel lonely and isolated and social media isn’t helping either.
August 6, 2018 at 05:44
Thank you!
August 6, 2018 at 07:19
As someone who has moved a lot and had to pick up and start over, I can say that so much of what you shared resonates with me. The only way through is through. And at the same time, loneliness is a very real emotion that shouldn’t just be dismissed. Now I’ve done it enough I know that the relationships DO come…they just take the inevitable time. And that waiting/growing time is hard…But it’s nice to know that one isn’t alone in being lonely. Lots of people are and walk forward from there all the time. That’s a happy thought for me.
August 6, 2018 at 07:41
Great to hear that you have worked it out, Amy.
August 6, 2018 at 07:35
Great tips. I think finding a new hobby is so important. I learned to scuba dive and not only did it provide me with something new and exciting to do but it allowed me to meet new friends to spend time with.
August 6, 2018 at 07:39
Scuba diving sounds great! 🙂
August 6, 2018 at 08:29
What a great post from you! I feel lonely many times when I’m alone at night I feel the loneliness in myself then until one day I realized that I should be get up and more productive to find happiness because that’s life you need to be strong!
August 6, 2018 at 11:15
Maysz, great realization! 🙂
August 6, 2018 at 15:25
Love this practical list of items to do when feeling lonely. My favorite is number one, which is awareness. I totally agree with you that having awareness is key to all. 👍🏼
August 6, 2018 at 15:56
Thank you, Evelyn! 🙂
August 6, 2018 at 16:26
Thanks, Angela!
August 6, 2018 at 23:07
Very practical, convenient reminder to essentially take care of yourself – love it. It’s all about creating your own happiness, really.
August 7, 2018 at 08:07
Exactly! 🙂
August 7, 2018 at 05:56
I love these simple, but effective ways to deal with this. I myself have had to take some of these steps for various things, so i know how powerful they are.
August 7, 2018 at 08:07
Thank you, Amber!
August 7, 2018 at 15:01
These are all great valid suggestions. I feel like thing like social media only intensify the problem some times.
August 7, 2018 at 15:03
Thanks!
August 7, 2018 at 16:57
I think watching a movie is a great plan. I gotta look for a copy of it. Thank you!
August 7, 2018 at 17:06
You’re welcome! 🙂
August 7, 2018 at 17:07
I am really glad that I had the chance to read your article sometimes we just need to push ourself.
August 7, 2018 at 17:08
Thanks!
August 8, 2018 at 07:13
Great tips! Especially the social media unplug!
August 8, 2018 at 07:56
Thanks!